Pleasure v pain

I read this:

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/filmmaker-josh-lawson-breaks-the-final-taboo-in-sex-comedy-the-little-death-20140923-10kel0.html

And then I thought this:

I'm having trouble with the phrases "rape" and "fantasy" being put together and there's a really simple reason why. Because there is, to me at least, no such thing. I'm actually finding this rather difficult to write because it's glaringly obvious that the definition of rape is rarely seen without the phrase consent, or more accurately, lack there of. Fantasy, in this context, is synonymous with desire - desire, like something you want. We need to move far, far away using a crime, which I plan to personally petition to be punishable by death, as a short cut to describing what we want. Let me let you in on a little something ladies, you do not want to be raped. You don't to be throwing that word around either, like it's something a little bit naughty and not an ugly reflection of the hideous world that we live in. I get it, I too am familiar with the Divinyls but rape is so far away from rough role playing with a trusted partner. What you're actually after is a world away from rape and we need to find a new word. And if the English language doesn't have that word, we'll make one up. And if we cannot find a suitable word you'll have to take the long way around. So when someone asks you about your dirty personal fantasy, you respond with a lengthy and semi-complicated answer, with hand gestures and possibly diagrams because your sexuality cannot be accurately reflected in a one word answer and that word is certainly not rape.

Forgive me, I don't often make it my business to tell other people what they want. I just can't face living in a world that has crafted women into believing they genuinely want to be held down and violently assaulted.

Dear Mr David Nicholls...

I recently read One Day and though I'm sure you're tired of hearing and reading variations of the following statement: it was really really good. 

I'm going to bore you further by telling you why I enjoyed this book so much.

Before reading One Day, I made the horrendous mistake of reading a number of books (I know, you'd think I'd stop after the first one) based around young women, who are described as "quiet and thoughtful." These women, the protagonists of these stories, spend chapter after chapter moping around after these boys who made them feel terrible about themselves. My most hated phrase frequently turned in these books was "she felt weak" - mostly in his presence.

I couldn't help but shudder at the thought of young women, any woman really, reading these books and thinking that silence was a desired trait by worthy men. 

And this is where you come in. Emma gets just as lost as anyone else but she wants better for herself. Emma doesn't settle for Ian because she knows she deserves to be with someone she in love with. More than that, even when she has the opportunity to be with someone she does love, she still knows what she wants. She doesn't settle for a fling with Dexter in Greece and she doesn't let him hurt her when he goes off the rails. Emma Morley is always her own person, even as that person changes over time. The only weakness she feels is within herself and not at the hands of anybody else.

You've written an interesting and relatable female character. A woman with passion, intelligence and by some miracle she's still able to find love. Eventually. I can't recommend this book to people enough and I hope they get as much out of it as I did.

(I wrote this before I read The Understudy but also want to extend my praise about Nora Harper. She's edgy, I like her.)

This is your scented candle

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/mar/10/david-nicholls-one-day-new-novel-us

Wow! Hold on, "comments for this discussion" are not closed. Did we read the same book?

Lets start with the first comment.

You, sir, have not read "Us". It hasn't been released yet, so how on Earth could you possibly know it's at all similar to "One Day"? I'm not aware if you've published anything other than your 3,600 troll-esk comments the Guardian website, but if you do, I hope you learn the difference between writing the same book and writing a second book within the same genre as the first.

Next up, samofthepryce.

I'll admit, I had to google Richard Curtis. It seems you were complimenting Mr Nicholls with this reference seeing as Mr Curtis has worked on many widely successful TV and film such as Bridget Jones' diary and Love Actually. I don't understand how you found "One Day" mediocre but enjoyed "The Understudy". The latter was far more predictable, have you considered you may not enjoy romance books? If thats the case, then I'd recommend you steer clear of Mr Nicholls. You know, seeing as he writes romantic books. And it's been 5 years since "One Day" came out, there's a movie and we're still talking about it, I think it's surviving just fine, thank you very much.

I've decided to respond to palfreyman with a simple, "that's your opinion and you're entitled to it." He wasn't making claims that were clearly not true or trolling. He's wrong, obviously, but I can't spend my every waking moment telling people when they're wrong or I'd never get anything else done.

And finally, westbritmiss. (Please note, the pictures suggest the above are all men).

"Utter tedium", eh? Firstly, the article was about the upcoming book, which, you haven't read. So you've read the article and decided to write a comment about how tedious  you found another book. Unnecessary, sir. Unnecessary. I hope you find and read my next post, which outlines why I enjoyed the book so much and come to understand the ardour that most non-robots feel for this book.

I encourage you all the thoroughly re-read "One Day" and if you still didn't think it was an insightful and humorous novel about people finding their place in the world and in each others lives then I suggest you take a good hard look at yourself.